i feel off

I just feel tired, depressed, weepy. Its like - things arent all that bad? I just feel saaaaad. Like any choice is a bad one. That life is just wasting away. I know I have to TRY really hard to pull myself out of that negative thinking, but Im sick of tryyying so hard. Maybe thats why Im so hard on cal, i want somebody something to make me OK. I just feel off.

I think things are going to get better though. I can feel this getting better. Maybe its just around the corner. As soon as I surrender to this is just a reality. This is what it will be like from now on -- or for a while.