Feel steady and strong

Feel really good. Good steady energy. If problems arise, know how to handle them. Feel strong.

Am taking 3 probiotics.

Feeling confident and positive. Have thyroid medication on the way. Its been 3 weeks on 30mg. Will up it 15mg as see how I feel.

Unfortunately - still on cortisol. Thrush seems worse. But I sleep better, feel calmer. Will stay on it a few more weeks and see what happens. Knowing now that my diet is on point and Im getting my good fats (butter) just now recently - which will help adrenals. Things are looking up.

i WILL overcome

I WILL overcome this. I will be strong. I have been through tough times before and I will get through this. Other people have had long drawn out stories, but I will find the truth and try to remain peaceful in the meantime. Things happen for a reason and I know health is going to happen, its just a matter of time. Life throws things at you - but you can use them as a learning lesson - not some cruel joke. I will be better than neil, caleb, others. I will perservier no matter what. I have done a great job this far. And you know what i always have myself. and i wont have anyone else when i die. just me. So, i know i can always count on that when i cant count on anything else.

not so good - venting

I am so freaking tired. I sick of being sick. Im annoyed at everyone and everything. Just TIRED. want to go away and sleep and not have to do anything or cook or clean or spend money or worry about needing to meditate or further my career or help out my little brother or do something nice for cal or be in a good mood for him or go travel and do something crazy or do an enema. I JUST want to stop - i just want to feel better - feel happy. I did for a few days last week? What happened?? I just want to do something fun and easy and enjoyable and not feel guilty! I just want things to go smoothly. I just want to feel content.

I am just angry. Angry at my situation. Angry im alone dealing with this. Angry this isnt getting better soon. Angry that i grew up with an alcholic dad and a mom who couldnt be there for me. Angry im not in control. Angry im not better. Angry that im not that great at anything. Angry that im becoming such a loner. Sick of email sick of computers. want something REAL. Sick of this office.

Felt awesome ~

Last week for 3 or 4 days - felt the best ive ever felt. When I went off the FOS. My tongue improved so much! Everything felt wonderful. I could finally have TIME to dedicate to OTHER things in life - not just healing. I had energy and stamina! I was in a GOOD MOOD for NO reason whatsoever. Just felt like laughing! I havent felt that good in forever. Please remember this week!!!

progress

Been on diet since Oct. Nails are stronger. Hair falling out. Havent started all supps - only krill oil, vit c, vit b, calcium, magnesium. Still need Vit. E, A, D and Niacin (B). Nervous to try Cod liver oil.

This week will buy organic butter. Stopped probiotic with FOS - saw HUGE improvement. Started cloves. Had a setback this wknd with ginger :( Now I know. and had green tea 2 days. But did my first water enema. Next week - Ill will try the coffee one.

DAY 1 - March 8th. On the road to recovery. Now I know - no FOS. Things will get better, I have to keep telling myself. Just started Thyroid med - should be getting adrenal med soon.

Hopefully God has a plan...