My Happy List

- Going with my gut - my TRUE self, my INNER guide

- It feels GOOD to stick up for myself and be strong

- The only reason I was in that was because I was weak

- I want to be treated like an equal, and with CLASS

- Now I am more mature, and want something calmer

- Just like Paul thought all girls were crazy drunks, then found a nice girl

- I just need ME time - to explore and to be FREE, hang out with whoever I want

- It is going to feel SO relieving to LET GO

- I have come SO far in just a few months - imagine what else I will accomplish

- Nicole, Eldon - sign/design for soul spa, alyssa, gaps group, andrew, etc, hiking, weston a price,

- I was true to myself, every CELL within me said to GET OUT

- I was a FAMILY one day - I have goals, I want a safe and secure household - something I never had

- I had to walk away from the WEED, the verbal abuse, the meanness, the coldness, the arogence, the 'not getting me', The vulgarness, the rudeness, the depression, the FORCEFULNESS, the jabbing, cold, hard comments, the criticalness, the micromanaging, the pain, the not listening to my worries - health, weed, helping with house, my future, helping with bills, money, my car,

- BV

- thrush not getting better - the STRESS

- can have calm, relaxing days to do whatever I feel like

- have the money and security to pay off my car, school loans, pay for supplements, etc.

- Gave MYSELF priority - but myself #1 and MY PATH - not following his path

- Imagine moving up there? Getting a job? Being around the weed?

- I LEFT, I chose to leave

- I was always just trying to HOLD ON one more day

- Trying to make him something he wasnt. Trying to make him caring, responsible, nice, considerate, not an asshole, thoughtful, no cold, not angry.

- BABIES, BABIES, BABIES - One of my very own.

- I am so strong. I now KNOW that I can get through anything.

- It has been much EASIER to handle my problems without him.

- Now, I can walk with my head held high.

- Eldon - I am the whole package - creative, pretty, intelligent, etc. Everything!

- Put myself on this pedastal.

- Maybe my reason for coming out here was different - it was for FAMIILY, my ONE TRUE LOVE. my little brother. I love him sooo deeply I cant even express it.

- I have learned through all of this to ALWAYS BE 100% MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL NEVER GIVE THAT UP AGAIN. 100%.

What I used to be like...

OK - so I used to go crazy exercising as HARD as I could - swimming, running, crunches... I lived off of fruit (sugar), Coffee (adrenal busting) salads (hard to digest) ricecakes (carbs! sugar), Wine (sugar) thinking I was healthy.

Now I sustain my bloodsugar with easy to digest steamed veggies, good fats like butter and coconut oil, good bacteria from kraut, no alcohol, no sugar - so no bloodsugar crashes, no more gum (aspartame) no coffee (good bacteria killing and acid and contains gluten) Have EGGS now which are full of vit. A and D, etc.

NOW I just need to find a BALANCE. I found the foods that dont hurt my gut anymore - I just need to figure out how I can keep my energy up and lose weight. Eat less? NO grains or fake sugars, or coffee, or ricecakes, or fruit, or chocolate. But I did that for so long? I think I just need to find a happy MEDIUM between what I used to be like and what I am doing now.

I can do it!! Just PAUSE when I need to. and Love myself. and just cut back a little. every little bit makes a difference.