Calmness

I feel very CALM lately. Robin makes me laugh. Its nice to laugh again. I feel so much more fulfilled and coming closer to 'having a spring in my step again'. I feel like its OK if I am just chugging along - doing my job but taking care of health stuff. This is my path and what I need to do right now and I am OK with it. This weekend I am not freaked out about spending time alone, in fact I am kind of looking forward to it. Its nice to have travis, justin, nicole, to talk to. Its nice to have this time to explore and like missy said - when she was single found herself in strange situations. I am more at peace because even if I sounded crazy, I got some stuff off of my chest - and it may have come from a place of scaredness - but it still needed to get out. I am at peace that things just are the way they are. As bethany says - GO FOR YOURS. and I am. connecting with people, doing gaps, exlporing different avenues, RESTING - damn that feel good. I LIKE being home. I like having my house a comfy, serene place where no one gets mad at you. I like feeling safe, secure and respected. I just feel like I can sleep if I need to, take my time getting better - putzing around, and its OK. I just feel so at PEACE. is it the cortisol manager, the magnesium? Is it I just feel good that I did what I WANTED to do and what was best for me - and did not let someone push me around. Ahhhh, it feels good to stick up for yourself!!!! I know I am getting to the point - where I can look back at that miserable, crying person I was - as if she is someone else. I want to just console her but I know that she will get to my side eventually, she just has to do it on her own time. I just look at her - as if I am her good friend, loving her through it and calmly knowing, its going to be OK.